My Midlife Confidence Story

Trust the Discontent because Discontent is the Pathway to Revelation.

Working in a beautiful setting with my family for 18 years, I’m certain many viewed my choice to leave my family’s business as a midlife crisis. Because, all they saw was, all of a sudden, I decided I didn’t want to work there anymore. When the truth was, throughout my career, I had consistently questioned my decision to work there.

But not many people knew that. I barely acknowledged it and rarely spoke about it. The discontent was so deep; I had been suppressing it literally since the day I started.

What was different for me was, at the age of 40, I was experiencing a confidence that I hadn’t felt before. A clarity that I knew I was meant to be doing something else. I truly believed I was worth more than living an extremely complacent life. What my decision to leave reflected was my choice to finally listen to myself, own my wants and trust the discontent. I wasn’t experiencing a midlife crisis – I was experiencing midlife confidence.

Obligation + Complacency = Discontent

All too often, people do things because they think they have to, especially in one’s professional career, and more specifically, a family business. They feel the have to stay in a position for financial reasons, or some loyalty to their boss (or family.) For years, the thought of leaving may have crept up, but just as soon as it did, it would be pushed down with the perspective of, ‘oh, I could never leave my family.’

So, when the discontent builds and bubbles up, it’s only a matter of time before it spills over into your reality. Here are three suggestions to consider to avoid being overcome by the emotions:

1. Stay calm. Reflection on our life’s choices is a common experience. When the realization is that you may have been more complacent than proactive, regret may creep in and trigger the urge to make big, bold changes immediately. This can be unsettling to say the least. This would not the time to be impulsive – pragmatic thinking and planning will allow you to consider you do have options. The reality is, just because you’ve always done something doesn’t mean you have to continue doing it.

2. Get curious. What is fueling the discontent? Leaving a job or family business isn’t always the answer. Sometimes, it may be about removing a long-standing obligation from your list of responsibilities. Or, adding an activity that brings you joy and fulfills you. Sometimes it’s not about where you are working, it’s about how. Seeking answers to the pivotal questions is like grabbing the reigns to truly start owning the wants in your life.

3. Seek help. Working with a certified, professional coach ( Hi there! ) will provide you with the opportunity to explore what you are truly feeling without the judgment and opinions you’d receive for those closest to you. Furthermore, if you are experiencing severe anxiety or depression, a licensed therapist may be the best option. If you are unsuccessful connecting with someone on your own, contact your personal physician for help.

What I am hoping to instill here is reflection is normal.  When the discontent and emotions show up, they do so for a reason. By taking a breathe, honoring your feelings, and potentially engaging in an intentional professional relationship to figure it all out, you will provide yourself with the invaluable opportunity to explore the answers to some very important and personal questions.

Coaching is a powerful investment that will empower you to…

  • Trust your Discontent with curiosity – you are feeling frustrated for a reason. Let’s find it.
  • Own your Wants with  courage – you are sacrificing your priorities for a reason. Let’s find it.
  • Clear your Path with confidence – you are stuck in rut for reason. Let’s find it.

Once you realize where your values, priorities and dreams are out of alignment, you will then be ready to get to work and create the life you truly envision for yourself.

Now is the time for clarity. All this is possible and so much more. Let’s get started.

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